Bella Swan-Cullen

Bella Swan-Cullen
Bella Swan-Cullen - Our Official Vampire

Friday, December 9, 2011

Law of God


(Don't be thinking this atheist don't know about god. This is a little ditty I sang to my Gwynnies back in the day. Remember, Gwyneth Paltrow is just a girl... now. Se used to be god. Didn't hurt either of us any. This one learned. Didn't get here without going - there.)

The Law of God:
All Attributes are Valid.

Says precisely nothing. I particularly like the neutral tone; there’s no emotional language, no moral judgment; it merely sits there, all calm, peaceful, and wise. The problem, of course, is one of meaning. It means nothing as it seems to mean everything. It does have a certain majesty perhaps; but if this is the actual law of god, shouldn’t it say something? Or did Ellen fuck up the translation?

Thing is, all these words came from the mind of Ellen the Gwynnite. I don’t know how the prophets did it back in the day, but all I got is a mind that won’t stop yapping. I got the memory of the creator of the universe. I have my five senses even when I have little sense. And still, mostly what fills the page is merely me arguing with myself. I’m nearing a hundred thousand words in my senseless rants to make sense of the prophet gig; there’s bound to be some mistakes.

Four words written in flame before my eyes, however; that tends to be – memorable.
The screaming and the tears, having a witness who remembers cowering in the corner for a couple of days; that’s the kind of drama that keeps the memory fresh.

Although I might have misinterpreted it at first. I have all these words, all these thoughts; I like to think I know something, about life, about god. I especially like to feel like I accomplished something. When four words of dubious providence seem to tell me the law of god; and of all the truth that may exist in this mortal contention, it would surely suffer if I were to answer in denial. Hundred thousand words of mine don’t seem to mean too much if I refuse to accept the only four that may have arisen from another source.

And I did refuse.

There was a sinful vision of a broken child and a dirty man. The sense that I was required to forgive this man, buttoning up his pants. Was I to ignore the pitiful sobs of the violated little girl at his feet? How is that to be?

And to turn to a friend who lived with me at the time, and see these words written across the Sylvia poster. Then did I start to cry. He was spared the vicious clarity of my vision, but seeing me stop in the hall; turn around and look at my Gwynnie poster, and lose it. That was new. When I told of the visual message of forgiveness; he became disturbed.

The screaming and the tears from when I followed through with the implication lasted a few moments more.
And quietly in my heart forever.

I will not forgive the one who would hurt Gwyneth Paltrow; think of me what you will.

And I must wonder for how long my assumption was a block to my understanding.

Now that we actually know stuff, let me pass on a surprising moral tale:

If god can confound his prophet through the simple device of emotional imagery, can we not all feel some manner of concern for the potential abuse of this tool? Emotional appeal is not a proper tool for debate. We are not cold-hearted and naturally logical beings, we are passionate beasts. Those who seek to sway a logical and mutual understanding are those who seek to dictate. The true meaning of mutual understanding is a compromise based upon respect; it is not merely mindless argument to see who wins or loses, it is the basis of our society. No one wins when another feels merely used.

The personal apparent flaw in my character? That I would forget the little girl in the face of threat to my Gwynnie? It may seem to echo the hollowness of my heart, or perhaps my mere honesty; what it does is exploit something that may be rather unique:

My absolute bottom line.

Most people have a full life of many pleasures, some only have a few; rare is the one who can find the last thing he would surrender. Rarer still the one tormented and tested true. I’m not here offering myself as a paragon of virtue; for what resolves is single minded obsession. I’m here to demonstrate the key differences between mortal and divine law.

I will not forgive the one who would hurt Gwyneth Paltrow.

For the one who would cause her pain, it is the matter of the moment. For me, the length of my consideration; in this case, I would assume eternal. If I’m on trial for the depth of my obsession as example;

I don’t seek to shirk nor exaggerate. The one who would remove the smile from my Gwynnie would make me suffer for all freaking time. Are we ready yet to understand the nature of forgiveness?
We are instructed to forgive for no greater benefit than to ourselves.

Let me re-iterate, so we can understand how godly law actually works:

The Law of God:
All Attributes are Valid.

Can you read that better now? We lost some actual truth with the coming of the word. When mankind learned to spread the message, we often forgot the whole purpose of the message. The words are meaningless right before our eyes, everyday. Familiarity breeds contempt in all things. For some things, man must go to god.

The true word of god is not meant to be read to be understood.

The way to find meaning is not to study and debate; for those are mortal concerns. The time is not now, the time is not when it is convenient, the time for god is when it is necessary to approach god.

We don’t exist for god; god exists for us. God doesn’t command that we do anything; god consoles use so that we do not.

So that we do not suffer needlessly. So that we do not question our own importance. So we do not make casual mistakes. So that we do not surrender to the follies of the flesh. So that we do not cower in fear. So we do not cower in ignorance. So that we do not ever go without god’s grace.

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